cabridges
Feb 15 2006, 03:29 AM
Just posted by fearless leader at the
Whedonesque boards:
QUOTE
Abusing links is the only way I know how to live. But I am here with a purpose, my friends. Call me joss Whedon: Rumor Crusher! (Or "Mister Fendendo", if we're being intimate.)
Since everyone's all abuzz with the CW rumor, I have to get all official and say: WE'VE STARTED FILMING NEW EPISODES! Of Dateline. I'm such a troll.
No, there haven't been any overtures from the CW as regards a SereniFly spin-off. I haven't even heard the orchestra tuning up. But if they happen to come calling, I do know what I would do:
1) In order to keep the show cost efficient, we would get rid of a few things we don't need, like spaceships, floors, and Jewel. (You thought I was gonna say 'costumes', didn't you? Porn guy.)
2) Nathan is busy making movies, but since I don't want new cast members, everybody in the cast would just move over one. Jewel (she's back!) would play Mal, Ron would play Kaylee, Morena would play Book, and so on.
3) People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.
4) The actors can make up their dialogue. I'm bushed, and they're all funny, and the hell with it. Maybe I'll give them a premise to work off of, like "You're all in trouble" or "Wash has a thing". They could maybe light it too.
5) Klingons, but not alien Klingons. But still Klingons.
So already the show is running like a well oiled companion. I'm just proud to be a part of the Country Western network, and I know this will be their biggest hit since "Have Space-Gun, Will Travel."
I hope, as always, this clears things up. And I hope the executives at the Carnie Wilson network DO give me a call. I've got a million ideas for redoing their offices.
Power to the people who are powerful enough to crush the other people! -jossy.
jetflair
Feb 15 2006, 06:18 AM
That Joss is one funny guy! Every time I need a laugh, I can just read one of his posts!
Angles
Feb 15 2006, 06:33 AM
Heh, I especially like #3
Oh and it's official (for me at least), the CW=Crack Whore.
Check out the Whedonesque comments if you wish to know what the hell I'm talkin' about.
VerseAtile
Feb 15 2006, 06:35 AM
Even squashing rumors, his response is hilarious.
bugmom651
Feb 15 2006, 06:40 AM
He makes me laugh while at the same time frightens me. Love him anyway.
violetrix
Feb 15 2006, 06:49 AM
bummed as i am that there are no overtures from the Crack Whore network, joss is so friggin' funny. seriously hilarious. that man... funny funny. i *wish* they would get rid of the costumes though, but that might be dangerous in the crew's line of work.
DerekThomas
Feb 15 2006, 08:25 AM
To CW:
YOU DIRTY, DIRTY WHORE!!
Misfit
Feb 15 2006, 08:53 AM
Joss IS boss.
MisterX
Feb 15 2006, 01:00 PM
So, eh.. he said the rumors are false, nothing official is going on concerning Serenity/Firefly. He'd love continuing it, but at the moment it wouldn't be possible as some actors are busy.
Did I get it right? o.O
Moby Vic
Feb 15 2006, 01:05 PM
If only he would tell us what was in that shot Simon gave to Mal....
Browncoat1
Feb 15 2006, 01:49 PM
Wish I could say I didn't, but I saw this coming. I think a lot of us did.
Shame really. There is that little part of me that really wanted to get my hopes up, but there is that veteran browncoat part of me that knew to wait for word from Joss.
Keep the faith & keep flyin' browncoats. We just keep pushing those dvds & keep bringing new fans into the fold.
NYPinTA
Feb 15 2006, 03:17 PM
Excuse me... I must go cry in a corner now.
OK. Done.
pez_werewolf
Feb 15 2006, 03:35 PM
we need to wait until the DVD is released everywhere. The UK get it in 12 days - not sure on anywhere else. You never know, it might sell really well. We may just see a return to the 'verse yet. My fingers will remain crossed.
gossi
Feb 15 2006, 04:18 PM
QUOTE(pez_werewolf @ Feb 15 2006, 09:35 AM)
we need to wait until the DVD is released everywhere. The UK get it in 12 days - not sure on anywhere else. You never know, it might sell really well. We may just see a return to the 'verse yet. My fingers will remain crossed.
Definitely. The UK should have quite a big DVD launch - TV adverts, media interviews etc. Universal are flying Joss over next week to help promote the DVD here.
I think, honestly, Firefly is dead. However, Serenity: not so much.
Solo4114
Feb 15 2006, 04:49 PM
Nothing particularly surprising here. For those who feel crushed, my advice is this: don't. Basically, this is simply a "no gnus" statement. CW hasn't approached him to do stuff. Does that mean they never will? Not necessarily. Does that mean they definitely will later? Not necessarily. We're in the same holding pattern that we're gonna stay in until...something changes.
But I'd offer the following advice to those who really are bummed. Take this experience and learn from it. Rumors are just that -- rumors -- until they are made Official by word from Joss. And personally, I'd only believe it if I heard it come from Joss's mouth (though I'd give it serious credence if it came from other folks personally involved in the creation of the film/show).
Every piece of news is not worth getting all worked up about because, at least from what I can tell, most of the time it doesn't go anywhere and doesn't turn out to be anything. That doesn't mean DOOOOOOM or anything, it just means nothing's happening. Personally, I don't like to live on an emotional rollercoaster, so I try to take a dose of realism with my optimism when I hear news like this. I find it helps keep me from feeling terribly disappointed when the next rumor or Big Damn Plan for bringing back the show turns out to be a rumor, a pipedream, or the result of an internet-sized game of Telephone. That's not to say you should approach every rumor as "NO!! FALSE!! LIARS!!!" and then try to burst everyone's bubble about how nothing will ever happen, the show is DEAD, Wash is DEAD, God is DEAD and the war's begun and Alvin Tostig has a son today. That'd make you a jerk, or at least a pessimist who likes to wear huge sunglasses and platform boots.
But it just ain't worth it to let every story that comes along lift you into the stratosphere with joy, especially because a lot of those stories are going to prove to just be stories -- which can lead you to plummet pretty quickly to earth.
Anyway, just a bit of friendly advice there.
Note: I do think it's POSSIBLE that something could shake loose with SereniFly (I like that moniker) eventually, but it probably won't happen in 2006. Or maybe even 2007. It's going to take time and a lot of stuff behind the scenes. The best thing we can do right now is promote the series to people who would be likely to like it (and not just promoted it to everyone when not everyone will like it), and keep buying the merchandise.
doubleshiny
Feb 15 2006, 05:14 PM
I can officially announce that I, Kirsty Walker, am going to resurrect Firefly on my own television network, the KW.
Eight years ago I met the Fox and Newscorp chairman Rupert Murdoch when I was walking in the woods, and he was lying on the ground, crying. I said "Rupert Murdoch, what's wrong?" and he replied, in his rich Australian brogue, "I've only gone and got a bloody thorn in my foot like a dud root wallaby!".
With not a thought for my own safety I plucked the thorn from his foot, and Rupert jumped up with joy. "Thanks cobber!", he chirped. "If there's ever any favour I can do for you, you just give us a whistle!", and with that he ran off into the bushes.
Now, I have been in a position to ask Rupert to relinquish his hold on the rights to Firefly, and I have secured the services of the rest of the cast in a cunning rouse. Whilst they were happily signing away at least year's conventions, I was substituting my Serenity poster for a thirty year exclusivity contract, and thus I own their very souls.
I can't raise the money to retain all of the original sets, but I think that moving the action from a spaceship in the Year 2500, to a kitchen in 2006, and the location from a distant cluster of planets, to Runcorn, a small industrial town in the north of England, I can make a few savings.
I have also had a slight problem in getting the actors Mark Sheppard and Christina Hendricks to sign up, so the role of Badger will be played by an actual badger, and the role of Saffron will be played by Christine Hamilton.
Aside from that, it will be the show you all know and love, coming to the KW network this Autumn.
Awell
Feb 15 2006, 05:21 PM
This post was sad and also FUNNY Joss' brain must never turn off...how sad, but when his fingers bang on the keyboard how FUNNY!
Joss were are your minute men/women at a minutes notice when we hear the good news that firefly/serenity is back in the works theses web sites will light up!
Kurya
Feb 15 2006, 05:28 PM
Solo4114, I just want to say great advice. I tried having that attitude...I dont expect Serenifly now, but I have hope sometime i nthe future it will come. n the mean there is Wonder Woman and Goners.
And doubleshiney.. .you are EVIL! Going to the special hell I say!
Prakash
Hil
Feb 15 2006, 05:43 PM
I am armed and ready, at any word word from Joss, I will raid or blow up any network building, or simply send emails. (forget the blowing up idea)
Anyone want to help?
gossi
Feb 15 2006, 06:13 PM
QUOTE
the role of Badger will be played by an actual badger
I find this very amusing.
I'd also suggest Serenity is replaced with a boat. All aboard, maties!
feeniks
Feb 16 2006, 01:36 AM
Alright... the whole 'AND WE'RE FILMING NEW EPISODES' thing? Got me. For like, as long as it took me to read 'Of Dateline' for the fourth time. Seriously. I read it four times. And I'm not given to thinking about a sequel, or new series, to begin with. But he got me. Oh he got me. Evil.
etdweasel
Feb 16 2006, 02:15 AM
QUOTE(doubleshiny @ Feb 15 2006, 12:14 PM)
I can officially announce that I, Kirsty Walker, am going to resurrect Firefly on my own television network, the KW.
Eight years ago I met the Fox and Newscorp chairman Rupert Murdoch when I was walking in the woods, and he was lying on the ground, crying. I said "Rupert Murdoch, what's wrong?" and he replied, in his rich Australian brogue, "I've only gone and got a bloody thorn in my foot like a dud root wallaby!".
With not a thought for my own safety I plucked the thorn from his foot, and Rupert jumped up with joy. "Thanks cobber!", he chirped. "If there's ever any favour I can do for you, you just give us a whistle!", and with that he ran off into the bushes.
Now, I have been in a position to ask Rupert to relinquish his hold on the rights to Firefly, and I have secured the services of the rest of the cast in a cunning rouse. Whilst they were happily signing away at least year's conventions, I was substituting my Serenity poster for a thirty year exclusivity contract, and thus I own their very souls.
I can't raise the money to retain all of the original sets, but I think that moving the action from a spaceship in the Year 2500, to a kitchen in 2006, and the location from a distant cluster of planets, to Runcorn, a small industrial town in the north of England, I can make a few savings.
I have also had a slight problem in getting the actors Mark Sheppard and Christina Hendricks to sign up, so the role of Badger will be played by an actual badger, and the role of Saffron will be played by Christine Hamilton.
Aside from that, it will be the show you all know and love, coming to the KW network this Autumn.
Oh. My.
GOD!!!! This may actually be funnier than Joss's post!
greenmonster
Feb 16 2006, 02:57 AM
Ok... back to lurking
BDH-Mike
Feb 16 2006, 06:09 AM
cool.. I love Joss..he's one funny sonuva gun!
thanks for the info!
while im at it..i love the new first page of the website...witht his news thingy...its really informative!
Angles
Feb 16 2006, 07:51 AM
Doubleshiny, great post, lol
QUOTE(doubleshiny @ Feb 15 2006, 12:14 PM)
the role of Badger will be played by an actual badger
Oh and I especially like that part. I'm just imagining an actual badger wearing very fine hat. And sitting at a desk with an apple peeler.
Which someone needs to photoshop.
dev
Feb 16 2006, 02:31 PM
Only Joss could make me smile whilst delivering such a killer blow.
And Kirsty, very amusing lass, very amusing indeed, but how is a boat going to travel around Runcorn exactly? Are you planning to flood said town in a Venician style?
etdweasel
Feb 16 2006, 03:09 PM
I can't believe Joss is being so dismissive of the whole idea...Isn't this new network called the Cordelia Willow Network?
Khei
Feb 16 2006, 03:40 PM
LMAO
Crap.. I need some glue..
Seriously though.. Joss is too funny.
I agree with him though.. I hate people too. And puppies.. well not puppies.. puppies are cute.. and our dog just had puppies two days ago..
*Raspberries*
Gotta look at the bright side.. There's worse things that could happen to Firefly/Serenity than never havign another episode ever made.. Could be much worse..
Disney could try to steal it.. They've stolen material before.. On several occassions..
Greg Neuman
Feb 17 2006, 01:58 PM
QUOTE
I was substituting my Serenity poster for a thirty year exclusivity contract, and thus I own their very souls.
Oooh! Oooh! I'll trade you my chocolate pudding snack pak for Jewel's soul!
G
doubleshiny
Feb 17 2006, 05:12 PM
QUOTE(dev @ Feb 16 2006, 08:31 AM)
Only Joss could make me smile whilst delivering such a killer blow.
And Kirsty, very amusing lass, very amusing indeed, but how is a boat going to travel around Runcorn exactly? Are you planning to flood said town in a Venician style?
Ah Dev, you obviously have forgotten about Runcorn's close proximity to the Bridgewater canal system. In fact, I have just signed up a shirehorse who will tow Serenity down the network of canals towards adventure!
The shirehorse will be named Joss.
gossi
Feb 17 2006, 05:56 PM
Let's buy the shirehorse for Joss. Send cheques payable to GOSSI THE DOG.
DizzyEllie
Feb 17 2006, 06:56 PM
I love shirehorses. Such fluffy legs.
blueRaptoR
Feb 22 2006, 10:50 PM
QUOTE(Angles @ Feb 16 2006, 02:51 AM)
Doubleshiny, great post, lol
Oh and I especially like that part. I'm just imagining an actual badger wearing very fine hat. And sitting at a desk with an apple peeler.
Which someone needs to photoshop.
did someone say "photoshop"?
courtesy, me.
justbrowsing
Feb 23 2006, 01:52 AM
Over at IMDB someone has said that NBC has bought the rights to "Serenity". If this is true, and I hope it is, does that mean that we are going to get a "Serenity" series?
If anyone has any more news please let us know asap.
justbrowsing
Sarrava
Feb 23 2006, 02:50 AM
QUOTE(justbrowsing @ Feb 22 2006, 05:52 PM)
Over at IMDB someone has said that NBC has bought the rights to "Serenity". If this is true, and I hope it is, does that mean that we are going to get a "Serenity" series?
link?
theonetruebix
Feb 23 2006, 02:52 AM
And FWIW, "someone" saying on "IMDB" is almost always a recipe for false information.
tributary
Feb 23 2006, 03:36 AM
Has anyone suggested the idea of taking Firefly to the BBC? They have been known for their long-running sci fi series and well--I would buy the DVDs as soon as they came out. Or even just straight to DVD? I hope someday they'll find a way to continue the story on screen.
Sarrava
Feb 23 2006, 09:00 AM
QUOTE(justbrowsing @ Feb 22 2006, 05:52 PM)
Over at IMDB someone has said that NBC has bought the rights to "Serenity". If this is true, and I hope it is, does that mean that we are going to get a "Serenity" series?
If anyone has any more news please let us know asap.
justbrowsing
I think this may be someone on IMDB misinterpreting the (very) old news about
first ad-tv broadcast rights for Serenity, along with a couple of other films. I don't think it has anything to do with a series.
Vex Viper
Mar 14 2006, 07:09 PM
Any other news? Any updates?
I can wait till 2007 if need be. Business is business.
jab1981
Mar 27 2006, 05:04 PM
There's nothing to update yet sadly...
Though I've been wondering where the speculation is regarding the new network that Fox is rolling out to fill the hole made by the UPN & WB merger. It's going to be called "My Network TV" and according to their press release it'll be geared towards a younger audience... I could see Firefly fitting in that demographic. I see them posting and hear what they've written into podcasts all the time. Granted, Fox isn't the best network to go back to after what they did to the series in the first place... but perhaps the DVD sales will help them to realize the error in their ways like it did with Family Guy. Plus seeing as Fox owns the network they wouldn't need to work out any deals to get the show... they'd already own it. Seems a small chance, but a possibility none the less.
And, I agree with tributary, shopping the show over in England wouldn't be a bad idea at all. Especially if Sci-Fi would pick it up afterwards... as they did with Battlestar Galactica. If they can make a successful series out of Battlestar, surely they'd have no trouble taking on Firefly! I don't know what these TV execs are waiting for. It seems like an obvious move... at least to my biased eyes it does.
Doyn
May 4 2006, 05:37 PM
Fox's new network MyNetworkTV has already had all its original programming slots filled by two daily serial dramas (aka Soaps at Nighttime). They had this decided before they made the public annoucement of the new network.
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