Various Ramblings from the Goddess of Sexy

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How To Deal With A (insert Expletive(s) Here)

Posted by Xandira, Jul 27 2006, 11:43 PM

You know, its is REALLY difficult when you have a friend and you really like him. He is nice and smart and funny and more or less polite. But he has a wife. Who used to be a part of the group, but is no longer any of those nice agreeable things, and therefore drives EVERYONE in the group freaking crazy.

The problem is that this woman has become 2 things. Born again (in the stuck up self rightious kinda way) and completely self centered. So now, she thinks she is better then everyone around her because she was married in the LDS temple, and we are not, and she doesn't stop to think about anything she says before she says it. So she says things like "any marriage outside of the temple is a joke" in a room full of not-temple wed people. And gets all her former friends ready to throttle her.

The really ironic thing is that not only was she married civally for a year first, but she used to be an on the streets, doing drugs, sex before marriage kinda person.

Now, I get that some people have issues. This one has bad mom, foster parents, love/relationship issues. But I don't understand how she can go from being a little crazy, but nice enough, to being a complete and total bitch with no social conscience and a need to have attention. (we don't all need to hear you deliberating for 10 minutes about weither or not you should drink half a can of coke, thank you very much. No matter what your blood sugar is at or how happy you are to have diabetes!)

Our whole group is feeling REALLY bad for our friend. His wife does stuff like coming to his gameing group and playing D&D with us, and then says behind his back (to one of his friend's mothers no less) that she wants him to stop hanging out with his friends and playing those childish games or she won't let their kids see his mother. Like, WTF? Its bad enough that she told me before the wedding that she wanted him to stop seeing his mother so much, but punishing the kids and grandma for his choise of hobbies??? Its not like he has grown up adult hobbies like strip clubs and drinking, or poker with the guys. But its like he can't have time or care for anyone but her, because that means he loves her less.

But what can 4 or 5 concerned friends do in that situation? We can't stand to be around her because she offhandedly insults at least one, if not all of us, on a regular basis. And she wants to keep him from the things and people he likes. And he is losing a lot of his carefree cheerful attitude that he used to have. But he loves her, and they have a kid on the way, and we are not the kind of people to say "her or us" . that would be totally unfair, and he would pick her in a second. Until she makes him so miserable that he has to do something about it.

How do you tell a friend that his wife is rude, manipulative, self-rightious, prejudice, close minded, selfish, and an attention whore?

Well, if she pisses me off one more time, he just might over hear me telling her. Oh what I wouldn't give to tell that woman off in a BIG way.


  Vex Viper, Jul 28 2006, 04:15 PM

First off, I hope I can post here? icon_neutral.gif If not then don't PM me and just go ahead and delete it, I tend to get lost and I dont know how to nav back to the thread.


I'm so sorry to hear all this, what a shame. And this person sounds just like my xwife. And it took me 7 years to finally stand up and do something about it after all my friends were telling me how rude and inconsiderate she was and how she did this and that. I would just tell him right out. I mean my wife was so rude to people that my Boss sat me aside at work and told me straight out, that the next Christmas party we have, please do not bring your wife. Or my friends would say, you can come over anytime but please do not bring your wife.

I've been divorced for 2 years now… We had no kids which is a good thing. But I still love her and miss the good times even though they were few. Or you can just put up with it and give him subtle hints. You never know, it might work its way out.


  Xandira, Jul 28 2006, 06:23 PM

you can reply here that is fine. welcome even icon_smile.gif

We are pretty much getting to the point of telling him outright not to bring her over. we kinda assigned one person to explain (his best friend for oooh 15 years. who is also the person whose mother got to hear all her plans to seperate them) so as not to sound like we are ganging up on him. But it still REALLY sucks.

I really did used to like her. I hope we can work things out to everyones advantage. whatever that may be.

Interesting to have the other perspective.. I will have to keep that in mind.

  Vex Viper, Aug 1 2006, 03:25 PM

I have a feeling he is already aware of her antics but refuses to admit it. I'm just basing my opinion off of what I did. At first I just chose to ignore it. My mom would tell me that she lead me around by my nose icon_neutral.gif

If you guys or gals do tell him, let me know what the results were? You don’t' have to go into detail, just say there is now, peace through out the land! icon_mrgreen.gif Or! We just added more fuel to the fire icon_neutral.gif

  Xandira, Aug 1 2006, 03:45 PM

Yeah, I will let you know when/if we deside to do anything about it. heres hoping for the best! icon_smile.gif

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